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Being a trans person and trying to date on or offline can be downright exhausting. Trans people, trans people of color, disabled trans people, fat trans people, etc. Check out the dictionary description of “fetish,” and you’ll find that it’s sexual attachment to an object.

Sorry if my language comes across as harsh, but I have every right to ask that the people who contact me are respectful, value consent, and are, like I try to be, aware of their own privileges. Well, turns out trans people, people of color, disabled folks, and fat folks are not objects! The people I find sexiest are those who are down to include me in their sexuality without making a big deal about it or obsessing over how my body is different from a cis person’s body. Conversely, I’m not into trans people, people of color, disabled folks, fat folks, femmes, etc. There are systems of oppression in place that shape our attraction to different groups of people.

So, here’s 14 messages you can stop sending to trans people if you want to be good to the trans community (and possibly get in our pants): 1. But, for myself and my trans friends, it can feel like being treated like an exhibit at the zoo. We look just like men, women, or non-binary people because, well, we are. Like many trans folks, I dream of the world where these questions are no longer a thing. And, there are plenty of ways that we can make sex work for us where our junk configurations don’t need to be an issue.

A couple of nights ago, Bromell pitched Thurst at Tech Crunch’s NYC Meetup and Pitch-Off and ended up winning second place.This includes instances when transgender users are reported by others, but haven’t violated any of our community standards.” Still, Tinder only offers two options for gender identification: male and female. But Tinder isn’t the only mainstream dating app that’s guilty of excluding trans people.Hinge, another popular dating app, also only offers “woman” and “man” as gender options.With Thurst, inclusiveness is at the core of the product, and with that in mind, so is safety.This year, 16 trans women have been murdered, and most of them have been trans women of color.