When you are married, and the chips are down, and you are feeling extremely cross that you gave up this or that privilege of your Single Life and are now in this momentarily rotten situation because you got married, you should be able to reflect that if you hadn't been able to marry your husband, this husband, you would have gone insane. I am trying to get my mind around how strict and unfair that may sound, but I can't. You should not feel guilty for telling a divorced man that you, as a Roman Catholic, a follower of Jesus Christ, consider him a married man. Go home and call a sympathetic pal of unquestionable orthodoxy. If you cannot think of anyone suitable, email me: [email protected]
I'm a married woman who has a number of male friends and goes to dances and classes without my husband, so I know perfectly well what is okay and what is not and when in doubt I hide behind a potted plant. And for sake of women's dignity semper et ubique, don't call, text or email him.
This is simply THE most difficult Single topic I can think of. I hate having to think about it, but my conscience says that I must think about it. It would be easy to write off the divorced as complete untouchables.
And life would be easier for Single Catholic women if, upon hearing that a man we've met is divorced, we would smile sweetly and have absolutely nothing to do with him ever again.
Do we think of Pope Francis and his cryptic remarks about Cardinal Kasper, the divorced-and-remarried-outside-the Church-but-wants-Holy-Communion-Catholic's friend? If the divorce was within the past year, you are out of there. You are vulnerable because you are female and Single, and he is vulnerable because he has just been through a divorce. If you are a redhead, gosh darn it, but it may be that she is a redhead too. asked me to marry me after ten days, but we had been reading each others blogs for a year.
Tell your priest/spiritual director of such revelations. Meanwhile, in the course of learning all about this other woman, you will discover if she was a baptized Christian or not, and if he is a baptized Christian. Meeting in person was just a confirmation of all the blog stuff, and in B.
And the parish priest said, "Don't cut good people out of your life." So I continued to date the divorced guy until shortly after he got an annulment, which was when I decided I did not want to marry another Protestant.So that was that, and he got another girlfriend almost right away, which somewhat assuaged my feelings of guilt.But hark this: I should not have gone on another date with the divorced guy, even though he was, as my priest divined, a good person.Meanwhile (C) hope springs eternal and (D) I honestly believe our two generations are the most immature in the history of the world and the very fact that our youthful marriages break down so quickly (when they do) could be evidence that they are not valid through reasons of immaturity. Update: Lest I become a Divorced Catholic poster girl, I want to stress that making a bad marriage was the very worst thing that ever happened to me, and I would not wish it on anyone.Getting divorced does not make everything all okay.