“None of them thought [remaining single] was an option, or could imagine their lives as unmarried women in Indian society,” Khurana said. So, if not to her, somebody else.” Meanwhile, Amrita confronts the realities of what she has gained and lost through her marriage.As Ritu’s parents search for her prospective husband, she matter-of-factly notes that marriage is compulsory: “It’s not about what I am ready for or what is expected out of me. I know I have to get married.” Her fiancé, who lives in Dubai and also works in finance, feels similarly: “I don’t know why people get married,” he said. “You lose your identity when you get married, and that’s something I never wanted to do,” she said in the film.
I asked my dad about this experience, and here’s how he described it: he told his parents he was ready to get married, so his family arranged meetings with three neighboring families. That’s how my dad decided on the person with whom he was going to spend the rest of his life.
And despite her initial misgivings about online dating, Dipti said her “dream came true,” in marrying her husband.
While Khurana and Mundhra sought to dispel narrow notions of arranged marriage, making this film challenged their views as well. Being a part of a larger community does provide support, sustenance and meaning.
I am perpetually indecisive about even the most mundane things, and I couldn’t imagine navigating such a huge life decision so quickly. Happily so—and probably more so than most people I know who had nonarranged marriages.
The first girl, he said, was “a little too tall,” and the second girl was “a little too short.” Then he met my mom. Let’s look at how I do things, maybe with a slightly less important decision, like the time I had to pick where to eat dinner in Seattle when I was on tour last year.